My first experience with autism was in the mid 90’s-reading “Christy and the Secret of Susan.” It was my very first time reading “The Baby-Sitter’s Club” by Ann M. Martin and it was the first time I had ever heard of autism. It was about a little girl whose mom was sending to a special school because she was autistic. She was savant on the piano and with dates and Christy’s main goal through the story was to have Susan connect with the people around her and convince Susan’s mom not to send her to a special school. I didn’t know it at the time-but it began my journey learning about autism and eventually having children who are both diagnosed autistic.

I have grown a lot since I first read “Christy and the Secret of Susan.” I have learned that autism looks very unique to each individual and not all individuals have the same level of autism, and it does not present itself the same way which is why it is called a spectrum. I have learned that autism does not look like how the media presents it-not all individuals on the spectrum are savant or withdrawn. I have met individuals and students who changed my perception on autism, and I have seen how the world acts towards individuals who are autistic especially children-and I have come to the conclusion that I would not change my children in any way, but I would change the world and how it treats and sees individuals who are autistic.

When I tell people that my children are autistic—I often get a wide array of replies—I think a lot of time, people just don’t know how to respond. When my children were younger, I would get looks of pity and the “Oh I am so sorry” response which always confused me because I didn’t see my children the way that the world saw them—I didn’t see them as something to apologize for but instead, I saw these humans that brought me so much joy and purpose. They made me laugh and see the world in a different light. In a way, they were a gift that changed my life and my mindset for the better.

My two humans are wonderfully complex with different personalities and different needs. They keep my life interesting, and they are authentic and wholly honest-sometimes to a flaw. They bring a different perspective to my life and honestly-bring a lot of joy to my life and have taught me so much along the journey of parenting them. I can’t wait to share what I have learned over the years with y’all!

My son, PK, is turning 11 soon and was diagnosed at the age of 2 with level 2 autism. My daughter, HB, is 8 and was diagnosed at the age of 5 with level1 autism. It is believed to be genetic since both of my biological children are autistic, but we have refrained from doing genetic testing because at this time-it would not be beneficial.

We are very active in therapies and community-I don’t believe my children will ever not be autistic, but we do give them the tools to develop and grow so they have less struggles in the long run as far as fine motor skills and speech. Both children also have a variety of other diagnosis that go hand-in-hand with autism, but we will dive into that later.

We homeschool because it’s the best fit for us. We did begin in public school and PK was within a CDC classroom that really did not teach him academically and HB was in a standard classroom that sent her into a constant state of flight or fight. It was actually because of HB’s experience within a public-school kindergarten classroom that prompted us to seek out testing and evaluation for ADHD—just to be told that HB was indeed autistic. That one was a surprise.

When we began our journey with raising children on the spectrum, I didn’t know anyone who was traveling the same road as we were, and I was very alone. There wasn’t an awful lot of information-and if it was, I felt like it came from a standpoint of grieving autism and not welcoming it and celebrating it. My children are autistic, I don’t think I could ever look at them and grieve who they are, I just wanted the tools and advice to make my children’s lives better.

After 10 years raising autistic children, I’ve navigated challenges like diagnoses and sensory issues while maintaining my sanity. Now, as a mother of older kids, I can support others on this journey. Welcome to the adventure.