A few months ago, I met a mom and her three-year-old child, and I immediately had flash backs of my son at three years old. My son was not a calm child–as a matter of fact–I often tell people that it took a lot of work and energy just to keep him alive. Toddlers and preschoolers are notorious for their energy level but a child who is on the spectrum or who is ADHD surpasses that energy level in extreme fashions–and often times, as a mom, it’s hard for us to explain to others because they are our normal.

This sweet child was a ball of energy—he ran and slammed full speed into any human who was in his path. His eyes twinkled with glee. He swung his arms and hit other children full force, and he was LOUD. So very loud. He was motion on steroids. All the while, the poor momma, was exhausted and honestly-a bit embarrassed because all the other three-year-olds were sitting sweetly in their little chairs-coloring on their papers like angels. The difference between this child and the other three-year-olds was not that one was more disciplined-but that one was autistic (diagnosed) and sensory seeking.

Let’s Dive In

Sensory. One word that can make or break a person. Each and every person is impacted by their sensory and it can shape their memories and impact their day to day lives and experiences. We smell smells that bring comfort or disgust. We hear beautiful sounds that bring us joy or sounds that cause our anxiety to spike. We taste food that bring back found memories of loved ones or tastes that tell us that something is poisonous. We feel blankets and pillows that make us feel cozy or fabrics that make us feel uneasy and constrained.

The difference for an autistic person is that they process their sensory differently that a neurotypical person. Both PK and HB have sensory difficulties that I have learned over time and have worked on understanding so I can give them the tools to regulate and teach them what need they are seeking after or avoiding. I don’t look at their sensory or stimming as a choice or an option but as a physical need and so we treat it as that way.

Regulating

When an autistic person is regulating their sensory, it is referred to as stimming. Stimming is a repetitive action, noise, or behavior that helps them regulate sensory input or output along with their emotions. Truthfully, everyone stims. It can look like chewing gum, tapping the pencil up and down on a table, or vaping from a vape. The difference is that an autistic person processes their sensory differently so they often times get overwhelmed or underwhelmed and so they need more input or output.

So sensory can seem overwhelming but I am going to give my best shot at explaining it. They are visual, auditory, tactile, gustatory, olfactory, proprioceptive, vestibular, and interception. These all seem like complicated things but trust me-once broken down, they can be quite simple.

Sensory Seeking and Sensory Avoidance

These terms describe an individual’s relationship to the sensory input. If they need that input-they will seek it. If their body does not need the input-they will avoid it. These needs are not chosen, they are very natural, and the body is drawn to what will fulfill that need. And it can change over time and the individual grows.

Visual

Visual is involving sight. It is all things vision-light, colors, and shapes. An autistic individual who may have a difficult time processing things visually may struggle with bright lights-often times florescent lights can bother autistic individuals-especially if they are blinking. Cluttered spaces can also be overwhelming, along with fast visual changes.

Both PK and HB were visual stimmers but it was very different from each other. PK enjoys repetitive movements-he likes to watch things sink or float in water and flicking his hands in front of his face. PK also enjoys light as long as it had movement-so he would flip his lights on and off constantly and watches videos with repetitive animations. PK does get overstimulated in cluttered spaces. He tends to get anxious and overstimulated. He also gets overwhelmed if someone flips through the channels on the TV.

HB also enjoyed repetitive movement-she would line things up by color or sort things by color and shape. She began coloring in the lines when she was one which I later found out was a form of visual stimming. HB is also like PK in watching YouTube with repetitive animations and movements. It is not unheard of for either of them to watch something repeatedly for comfort. HB is not as overstimulated by visual as much as PK but it is one of the sensory inputs that calms her.

There are many safe ways to meet the sensory needs of children visually and honestly-it’s probably one of the easiest sensory needs to meet in my opinion. There are sensory bottles that have glitter, beads, sand, and slime-some have upward movements while others have downward movements. When PK was little, I would get a clear tub and fill it up with water and set a bucket full of odds and ends from around the house for him to throw into the tub of water to watch if it would sink or float. We would get HB things for her to purposely line up-it may be small plastic animals or odds and ends from the craft store that she could sort however she wanted. HB colors when she gets overwhelmed especially by loud, crowded areas. We also set up an area for PK that had unbreakable mirrors on the wall and Christmas lights on the ceiling near his trampoline so he could watch himself jump and get the visual stimulation of the lights and the mirror.

Auditory

Auditory is hearing. It’s all-things noise. Loud noises can be triggering to an autistic person unless its noise they make but we will dive into that in just a moment. Sudden noises like alarms can also be overwhelming and background noises can be disturbing too.

PK and HB are auditory avoiders. PK and HB both do not like loud noises although PK is constant loud noise…. he does not like other people’s noises. HB does not like sudden noises-it actually used to send her into a flight or fight mode when she was a toddler-she just recently outgrew panicking when she heard an alarm clock, or a timer go off. Laughter can be annoying to them-it’s hard to explain but I think it’s the pitch and the constant noise of it. PK is just learning to tolerate the birthday song at parties. Neither seem bothered by background noise that I know of.

We try to implement a lot of tools in this regard, but sensory needs are ever changing especially as a child grows older dignity really does play a part in how we address a sensory need. We use noise cancelling headphones, but we are exploring different options as PK is becoming more aware of how obvious the headphones are. We try to find quiet spaces wherever we are at so that he can escape. For alarms-we used vibrating or soft tones, but it really did cause an issue when HB was in public school because they have an alarm for everything and if it was not an alarm it was a bell on the intercom.

Vocal stimming can also be auditory and this is a stimming that is repetitive noise or scripting. This can be humming, screaming, shrieking, singing—anything noise. Scripting is repetitive use of words and sentences….PK does this A LOT, and it can drive me nuts. I haven’t exactly found a solution to this one. His key term right now is “I am on the nice list-Ashing.” Some of the things I have worked on in the past to meet the vocal stimming was strong tasting chips-Doritos was my go-to. I do notice a difference in the vocal stimming when PK has strong tasting, crunchy things available to eat.

Tactile

This is a big one in our house. It is sensitivity to textures, temperatures, or unexpected touch. PK doesn’t have an issue with this one at all-he is not a seeker or an avoider. HB on the other hand is an avoider. She is very sensitive to textures and temperatures and unexpected touch. She has nearly bit someone who tried to move her hair when she did not expect it. It has been within the past year that HB has actually been able to wear jeans. She is still very sensitive to temperature and since we live in the south which is either too hot or too cold-she refers to herself as “an indoor cat.”

So how do I deal with avoiding? I mostly respect it, and I practice patience. For the longest time, HB only wore dresses or leggings and that was that. She made it known to most people around her that she didn’t like the hugs or the pats and unless they asked her-they weren’t going to get a good reaction with touching her. But the thing is, it’s her body and “body autonomy” is a thing–although I do stress manners.

What if they are a sensory seeker? These are the children who you will see smearing ice cream all over them or pudding all over them. They may roll around in a sand box and stickiness and dirt may not bother them. One of my favorite things to recommend to these parents is to give their kiddos a chance to sensory seek in a controlled environment. If you can mee the need, then you will see the seeking behavior reduce. Put the child in a bathing suit and in a hard plastic pool on a hot day or even a bathtub on a cold day—give them slime to play with or shaving cream. You can even give them yogurt or Greek yogurt that is colored with food dye and let them smear it all over. When they are done, hose them down and hose down the pool or the tub.

You can also give them sensory fabric swatches of different textures that they can feel. If they child is older, they can make their own slime with different textures and fillings and play with that. There are a lot of creative ways to meet the need and sometimes, we just have to look for the best compromise.

Gustatory

Gustatory is taste. Usually, this sensory is a sensory avoidance but sometimes, you have a seeker. Usually this is a sensitivity to flavors or food textures and temperatures. You will often times see these types of things with children who are not autistic but often times its extreme with autistic kiddos.

PK and HB were avoiders on this one too. PK was actually one food away from needing feeding therapy. He usually stuck with beige; beige was safe. PK also did not eat any sauces or anything that was soft textured-mashed potatoes or pudding. I don’t think he had a temperature issue. HB is also my avoider. She will eat soup and sauces, but she will not eat any meat but chicken. She enjoys most veggies and fruits. Meal planning at our house is really fun because people will often tell you “They will eat when they get hungry” and every parent of an autistic child who is a gustatory avoider will tell you that that is indeed a lie.

Gustatory is difficult because you can’t force someone to eat. We actually worked with both of my children’s speech therapist who also did feeding therapy to get PK and HB to eat and try new things (it did not happen overnight, it took YEARS). But one thing they taught me was to teach my kids to be okay with having the food on the plate. I was always to provide something that was safe for them to eat and a food that they weren’t sure about which was to stay on the plate. We encouraged them to touch the food with their hands and to smell the food-to explore it with their other sensory to kind of prepare they for it. I always recommend to talk to a specialist and fed is best!

PK was also a sensory seeker on Gustatory—just not with food. EVERYTHING went into his mouth except food. He chewed on clothing, stuffed toys, plastic toys….wood….I mean everything. We invested in a chewable sensory stick when he was little, but he has outgrown most of his gustatory seeking—he still can’t practice self-control near marbles, so we just don’t bring them into the house or water balloons. I have to watch him very closely when we are near balloons because he likes the rubber texture. They do make chewable necklaces too for children who are sensory seekers. If they are with food-provide them the food they like and the texture they like

Olfactory

This one is smell. They are usually sensitive to strong smells. My husband is very sensitive to strong smells or light smells and so is PK. I usually just get unscented products or the scents that I know they can handle. PK often times will ask me “what’s that smell?” and we are working on how to ask that because sometimes it is not always the best time to ask it.

I have not met anyone who is a sensory seeker with Olfactory but a good way to meet that sensory need would be to use old essential oil bottles that still have the smell and collect them in a basket so that they can smell them whenever or even put oils on a cloth so that the individual can sniff whenever they need to.

Proprioceptive

This is one that I just learned about from PK’s occupational therapist a few months ago. It’s the sensory related to movement, force, or body location. And PK is definitely a sensory seeker in this department and has been since he was little. PK was a wrecking ball on legs as a toddler and preschooler. He body slammed everything, loved to jump off the couch, loved to have bear hugs, and would climb behind me on the couch and have me lay on him. He still will gallop across the house and will hug too hard.

Weighted vest help with this but this is something that I strongly recommend you use under the guidance of an occupational therapist or doctor. These are not to be worn all day and without supervision, it is a temporary tool to meet a need. Once the need is met, the vest doesn’t need to be one. Weighted lap pads help with this. I do not recommend weighted blankets for children or for children to sleep with weighted blankets. However, they make sensory bed sheets that I highly recommend that meet the need and are much safer for the child.

There is also a sensory sack that I highly recommend, and I have seen our occupational therapist use an exercise ball to gently press pressure on PK while he lays stretched out on the floor. PK also uses trampolines to meet these needs-we have a big one outside and a smaller one in the house so he can jump in any weather which also helps him meet the vestibular need.

Vestibular

Vestibular is balance. This sensory is actually common to see seekers and avoiders. This is often times presented as seeking with intense movements—this is when you will most likely see spinning. But a child who is an avoider will not like anything with a swinging movement. At one time, PK was an avoider. He did not like the swing as a baby or as a toddler, but he had an occupational therapist who worked really hard with him on this and now swinging is calming to him.

For the seekers, swings and they make so many different swings. We have two different types of swings that we bought from FunandFunction.com. One is a net, and the other is a board and both kids love it and its one of the most calming sensory tools for Parker. Rocking chairs and horse are also a great way to meet this sensory need. Jumping on a trampoline will also meet this need–and it can go hand in hand with the proprioceptive too.

Interception

This is a more difficult one. It’s simple to understand but it’s hard to process because it’s something we think should come naturally to us. It is recognizing our most basic needs-hunger, thirst, when we need to use the bathroom, and when we are too hot or too cold. We have not had personal experience with this, but I have met friends who have had struggles with this-even with children who are not autistic.

In the article “What You Need to Know About Interception” by Victoria Wood OTR/L, on OTToolbox.com, “interception has a strong connection to emotional processing.” She speaks of modeling for your child by talking about how you are feeling-I imagine she means emotionally, physically, and mentally and to focus on awareness. If my child did have interception sensory issues, I think I would implement a schedule that was a set time for bathroom breaks and eating breaks. Sheldon Cooper from Big Bang Theory and his bowel movement schedule comes to mind when I think of this.

Advice

I cannot sit and act like I am an expert-I am only an expert on my children, but I feel like 10 years has taught me a whole lot and desperation has caused me to grow and research. First, my largest piece of advice is to recognize sensory seeking behavior and sensory avoidance behaviors as what they are-behaviors but also to take the mindset of behavior is communication. A lot of our children who are on the spectrum cannot tell us adequately what is going on inside of them-they don’t fully understand it, but they may also not have the language to communicate it either.

Help them meet the sensory needs. Stimming is a need for an autistic person and there are times when stimming is not appropriate, and I really feel like that depends on the level of the individual. PK (level 2) and HB (level 1) can handle being told to find a less disruptive way to stim or to stim in their bedrooms. We do not really have to worry about any harmful behaviors and if it begins to cause overstimulation-then its kind of is defeating its purpose.

When you take away stimming, you prevent your child from meeting a need, but it opens the door for maladaptive behaviors. This means that your child will still feel that need to meet that need but have the inability to meet that need—so they will not adapt but instead-they will form a worse behavior to meet that need. That may look like self-harm or a melt-down.

I also recommend that if your child has a sensory need, the best professional that you can work with is an occupational therapist. They aren’t just there for fine motor skills-I discovered that when PK was one. PK and HB both have seen an occupational therapist for years and I have seen them grow through many sensory seeking behaviors. The therapists have also educated me to best meet my children’s needs.

However, I am not naive. I know occupational therapists are expensive, all therapy is expensive. Some families cannot afford the luxury of an occupational therapist. I strongly recommend The OT Toolbox for articles and tools to help you meet your child’s needs.